


pop quiz

by orangesparks



Category: Ghostbusters (Movies)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-21
Updated: 2008-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 01:44:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1624940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orangesparks/pseuds/orangesparks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Egon Spengler, on: college, fungi party jokes, dog catching, Ray, and everything in between.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pop quiz

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Sadie Flood

 

 

_1\. A typical dorm room is often breeding ground for:_

a) moldy shower curtains

b) moldy styrofoam containers of cheese nachos

c) moldy specimen trays

d) all of the above.

Venkman invites more of A and B into their lives than anything else, although, to be honest - Egon's not picky about what he experiments on these days.

Not, at least, after a certain experiment which they all refer to as The Incident gets him banned from free reign at Schenley Labs outside of class-required work. 

Ray still can't understand Professor White's decision. 

"I mean," he says, helping himself to the half-empty containers of vegetable lo mein spread out between them, "it's-- it's not exactly like drilling a hole into your head was gonna hurt anyone else, or anything. Y'know? You had things under control. You knew what you were _doing_."

Egon smiles, slowly. 

(Sometimes it feels like Ray's the only other one who gets the _science_ of it all.)

\---

_2\. It is important, once away at school and far from the parental unit, to:_

a. keep up with one's studies

b. learn how to socialize

c. maintain a healthy balance between the two

d. burn down your dormitory accidentally.

College is supposed to be about partying, sure, and Egon's done his fair share of getting down with petri dishes, so to speak, but tonight's kegger across campus at the abandoned house on Fifth and Palm just interferes with too much _work_.

(Not to mention that, well; those other guys? They're not too big fans of his 'a fungus and a common cold virus walk into a bar' joke, either.)

A sharp knock at the door startles him into almost dropping the blowtorch. A bashful head peeks in through the door, after pushing it open tentatively. 

"I just was, uh, wondering if you wanted to come down sometime tonight. Venkman's complaining about no one being there to play it sober, but, really, I mean, it's not too good to just hole up in here and-- HEY! Miniature theoretical anti-gravity chamber?"

Now that he's confirmed he hasn't burned down their dorm, Egon's heart rate is slowly returning to normal. He grins at Ray, nodding confirmation.

"Yeah."

_"Cool!"_

They spend the rest of the night floating pencils and paperweights and Venkman's Stones albums. They only drop the latter.

(Sometimes Ray really _is_ the only one who gets it.)

\---

_3\. A healthy body, mind, and general lifestyle can be maintained by:_

a. planning a balanced diet

b. developing a daily exercise program

c. participating in an intramural sport

d. smoking regularly.

Ray's the only person he knows who can chomp a cigar between his teeth, raise his eyebrows near caustically, and wave cheerfully at the same time without looking _entirely_ ridiculous.

It's not exactly a difficult (nor even emulated) act, sure; but _still_. 

(Ray gets kicked out of Schenley labs, himself, this semester. It's a funny story, a long one, and it starts with a lit cigar and it ends with two firetrucks, an enraged Dean, and new campus smoking rules.)

\---

_4\. Upon graduation, it is wise to look for employment:_

a. best suited to one's abilities and skills

b. doling out a particularly handsome salary

c. with a close match to one's own moral values

d. desperate enough to hire anyone.

Grad school seems so far away. Which is probably why the summer reeks so much of desperation.

That, and the faintly stale combined odors of Venkman's aftershave and deodorant. 

Jobs aren't too easy to come by in their respective fields, especially without their Masters. Summer lab apprenticeships pay only in the currency of "experience", and as far as bills are concerned, slumming it until classes start in the fall looks to be their only option.

"No. No, no, _no_ way," Venkman protests, slicking back slightly long dark hair that makes co-eds swoon and parents suspicious. It's already starting to thin a little, in the front; not that he notices, or that his energetic facade would ever let on otherwise. 

" _Shit._ " He sucks on his teeth before adopting a chiding tone normally used with small children. "I did _not_ graduate _college_ and earn my _degree_ only to stand around flipping burgers with my good pal Ronald until grad school starts. No. Nada. Ain't happenin'."

The hairnet strangely complements his shaggy haircut. 

Egon and Ray fare slightly better. 

Slightly.

There _have_ to be worse job descriptions out there than dog catcher. It has to have a bad rap, something formed solely by the opinions of those who take their Sunday comics to heart and assume every schmuck with a net and a grimace is evil incarnate. A sort of grim reaper for canines, if you will. 

But try telling that to the people who decide to rescue the mutt on your daily rounds. 

"I like your hairnets better than mine," Venkman decides when they walk past him that afternoon. "I do. Really. The little wooden handles at the back? They add a certain something - a certain _panache_ \- to your style. Thumbs up, here."

He whistles until they fade from his view.

"I think he used that word, uh - 'panache'? - I think he used it incorrectly," Egon says, worrying at his lip, as they continue on their way back to the pound.

"We have giant nets on our heads for crushing the dreams of every neighborhood child who hopes to take home a stray dog. I think Venkman's incorrect vocabulary usage is really the least of our worries."

It's hard to argue with that. 

(Egon develops a system to engineer dog whistles which not only canines but small children can hear. He doesn't know what good it'll do - or what it'll do, _period_ \- but he puts in his two weeks notice at the pound, anyway, and spends the rest of the summer taking tickets at the local movie theater. Ray follows shortly after.)

\---

_5\. A well-rounded, mature adult is able to look back on their learning experiences with, most importantly:_

a. regret

b. fondness

c. nostalgia

d. a desire to continue on and learn more.

The book, hardcover and bound in handsome burgundy leather, looks innocent enough, just lying there on Ray's desk. 

_The Student's Guide to Paranormal Activity._ Huh. Must be a gag. A gift from Venkman, perhaps.

Egon studies the pictures, black and white photographs inside, with a practiced frown. It... it's trick photography. Yeah. Must be. He'll have to mention it to Ray when he gets back from class. 

The look on Ray's face when he gets back from his lab - elated and anxious and determined all at once - tells him otherwise.

(It's the start of something else, all right.)

 


End file.
